caroline holzberger

Keepin' it real about motherhood, Jesus, life, and everything in between.

Archive for the category “Five Minute Fridays”

Five Minute Friday(ish) – “Fly”

(Disclaimer to my readers – Today I link up with fellow writers. This is a challenge. A group to join. A prompting by another woman I like to just.sit.down. every Friday and write for only five minutes. That’s it. Which is roughly how long it takes for me to write my normal first sentence. Ahem. So, lest some of you start dancing joyfully with glee that my post is shorter – it is advised that thy shouldn’t get thyself used to it. In Jesus’ Name.) READ MORE HERE.

GO.

On a wall, I sometimes wish to be
A little fly, no one can see
Or perhaps their eyes do see me there
But I’m so small they wouldn’t care
And what about you my friend
If you were that fly, would you pretend
To like me still, you’re BFF
If you saw me when no joy was left
When spanx exploded what once was thin
Would you, my friend, still like me then?
Or when I yelled at a kid or two
Would you judge me then? Well, would you?
Or when I lied, or when I cried or when I barely even tried
Would you be friend; look up to me
When you saw how awful I could be
To my man and to my kid
Or worse, to Him whose blood was shed
A complacent heart and prideful life
A selfish un-submissive wife
If that is what you came and saw
As a fly upon my wall
Would u think I loved the Lord
Would my life be worth dying for
I thank my Jesus, night and day
He loves, forgives and will not stray
From my side, nor yours as well
And guards us from attacks of hell
So even if upon my wall
You did not care for what you saw
My Savior will be standing by
As so much more than
Just
A
Fly

Matthew 9:12-13 “On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice. ForI have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Genesis 28:15 “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and Iwill bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Duet. 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he willnever leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Matthew 7:11 “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Matthew 6:8 “Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need beforeyou ask him.”

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Five Minute Friday – Write

(Disclaimer to my readers – Today I link up with fellow writers. This is a challenge. A group to join. A prompting by another woman I like to just.sit.down. every Friday and write for only five minutes. That’s it. Which is roughly how long it takes for me to write my normal first sentence. Ahem. So, lest some of you start dancing joyfully with glee that my post is shorter – it is advised that thy shouldn’t get thyself used to it. In Jesus’ Name.) READ MORE HERE.

GO.

Do I do this whole writing thing well?

I know I don’t do it good.

Because, to say I do it ‘good’ would be bad writing.

Oh wait, it would be poor writing.

Shootamonkey.

Here’s the deal. I’ve never been a ‘good’ writer…but, I’ve always loved to write. To me, writing is like talking, and oh sweet baby Jesus, how I love to talk.

Go. Write My words in your unique voice. Write it – tell them My story – our story. Then sit back and watch what I will do with it. Give Me the glory. I love you.

God said that to me once. Not like via txt message or loud speaker that sure would be easier, Jesus. Just sayin’ but in my spirit – He told me to write.

I wouldn’t go back to teach.

I would write. I feel so close to Him when I do. It’s almost like my own little miracle every single time.

But, lately I haven’t had time to eat/sit/think/bathe, much less write.

Correction.

I haven’t made time to write. I’ve made time to sit comatose in front of the TV. I’ve made time to sleep the extra blessed, beloved, precious fourteen minutes. I’ve made the time for other things…just not to write.

I guess I’ve always felt that this blog should be as researched and profound as possible. Every time. 1,500 words minimum of my irony and His Truth. Every time. It’s funny how much extra time you have to research and pray and seek Him when you are lying flat on your coach all day every day for weeks and months on end.

But, now, for reasons only He fully knows, He has chosen to heal me and set me feet firm on the ground. He was given me the most precious gift of all through this couch time – His blessed gift of perspective.

About what really matters.

Her smile.

Holding his hand.

Hearing his giggle.

Watching her sleep.

Serving this young man.

Acknowledging this older woman.

His kingdom is here.

His purpose is now.

His words are in me.

I just have to sit. down. and.

write.

 

STOP.

Precious Sarah

Once again, I’m hooking up with fellow writers for our Five Minute Friday time of writing. This week’s prompt –
Five Minute Friday – Lonely

Go.

She sits at a table meant for two…yet holding only her.
Only her.
Again.
It seems its been that way for such a long time now. Her precious Harold, she loved for three quarters of her life, has been gone for almost three years now. Three long years. But her eyes well up with tears as she remembers the seven years before that when her true Harold left. His mind gone long before his body. But at least then she could still hold his hand. She could still hear his voice, even if the stories he tried desperately to remember we’re never true at all.
Gone forever, just two days after they celebrated 43 years together. How selfish for her to want him to live that way longer. How selfish for her to want to keep him from the presence of Jesus. But she wanted him in her presence now. At this table meant for two. He would order himself a sandwich but eat some of hers anyway.
But not today.
She was alone now.
Alone and lonely.
She looks at the tables surrounding her. The room filled with chatter of her fellow along-in-years ‘neighbors’. Not the neighbors she’d raised her kids with. Gone to ballgames with. Sat at church with. Not the neighbors in the small town she knew every corner of, every member of. These neighbors seem fine in this place. Living in this sort of place was never in her plan. A two bedroom apartment in an active adult living facility – whatever that may mean. She missed her house. She missed her things. She missed his things. The home where sometimes, even still, she would catch a whif of his cologne as she sat in his favorite recliner chair.
Lost in her thoughts, she twirled her wedding band around her finger. The same one he’d given her so many, many years ago. They were so young then. Their whole lives ahead of them. Where had all those years gone? Had she wished them away without truly enjoying them? Anxious for the next phase of life to bring new challenges, new joys, new surprises.
Jolted back to reality by the sound of laughter. Seated around her now were the children and grandchildren of some of these new ‘neighbors’. They would come visit for a little while, but only when they could spare the time.
Oh how she ached to grab them by the hands. To shake them if she needed to…and plead with them –
Enjoy it.
Soak it up! Every last moment.
I don’t know how I got here so quickly.
So quickly to being alone.
But you will be here to.
Before u know it. Trust me.
We are all only a few short decades from being here.
Alone.
And lonely

Instead she clung to his wedding band she wore on a simple gold chain around her neck. Closing her eyes and taking another sip of her herbal tea – the tea that new young doctor of hers said would be good for her heart.
My heart.
Sigh.
My heart doesn’t need tea. It needs Harold.
My heart needs not to be alone.
And lonely.

Five Minute Friday – Broken

(Disclaimer to my readers – Today I link up with fellow writers. This is a challenge. A group to join. A prompting by another woman I like to just.sit.down. every Friday and write for only five minutes. That’s it. Which is roughly how long it takes for me to write my normal first sentence. Ahem. So, lest some of you start dancing joyfully with glee that my post is shorter – it is advised that thy shouldn’t get thyself used to it. In Jesus’ Name.) READ MORE HERE.

Five Minute Friday – BROKEN.

GO.

I have to be honest with you –

I live in a rich, white bubble.

It’s true. And, I don’t mean to sound racist or prejudice or anything else ugly. I’m just saying…it is what it is. If you were to stand on the street corner two miles from my house, at the major intersection of two roads – you would see more luxury cars than five-year-old cars. You would see more educated people than uneducated people. Most of them would be white. ALL of them would be upper class, or at least upper-middle class. Some of them are even in the super dooper upper class.

There is not ‘bad’ area of town. There is no crime. There is no real glimpse into the outside world.

So, unless I am purposeful and drive thirty minutes in any direction – I live my daily commute (aka. to the carpool line, Wal-Mart, preschool and church) then I would never ever see the poor.

But, oh, my friend, how that doesn’t mean I don’t see the broken.

The broken are rich, too.

The broken are white, too.

The broken are everywhere.

Withint the last year, my world got doneflippedupsidedown and I spun out of control. (Thanks a lot Jesus…and Jen Hatmaker)

But once my head leveled off, I found myself. My true self. I found the place God wanted me. Not selling everything I own and moving to the ghetto (my initial response) and also not sluffing it off and calling too radical.

I found the place He would have me be.

And this place is acknowledging the broken everywhere I go. To the salon. To the homeless church. To the elite boutique to use the bathroom, clearly. To the person next to me at church. To the man sweeping the floors at my kid’s overprivleged public school.

Brokenness is everywhere.

This was proven to me today in a large way.

Months ago – amidst my beloved tailspin, I wrote a blog about a man I met named Mr. John Tucker. I hadn’t thought about him in months, so I count today a blessing for the sheer reminder to pray for him. But, today, a man commented on my blog post from last October — and I’ll admit, he was a hata.

He judged me, criticized me, and bashed me for my act of kindness to Mr. John Tucker. Why?

Because Mr. John Tucker is homeless.

Oh ya, did I not mention that?

He was probably on drugs. He smelled of feces. He perhaps conned us out of that $20 that day. And, he may even be into all types of illegal things. But, maybe not. I don’t know. You know Who does? The One who made him.

My Jesus.

The same Jesus who broke His body for me. For Mr. John Tucker. AND for the hata on my blog.

The rage he spoke about this homeless man he’d never met – reminded this rich, white girl of one thing.

Brokenness is everywhere.

You can choose to serve the broken wealthy. You can choose to serve the broken poor. But, choose something.

So, I ask you…

Who is more broken? Who is more poor?

The man with nothing to his name, and no worth to so many people?

Or the man who judges him and casts him aside?

I think I know that answer.

Do you?

Five Minute Fridays – Belong

(Disclaimer to my readers – Today I link up with fellow writers. This is a challenge. A group to join. A prompting by another woman I like to just.sit.down. every Friday and write for only five minutes. That’s it. Which is roughly how long it takes for me to write my normal first sentence. Ahem. So, lest some of you start dancing joyfully with glee that my post is shorter – it is advised that thy shouldn’t get thyself used to it. In Jesus’ Name.) READ MORE HERE.

Five Minute Fridays – BELONG

GO.

How desperately we, especially as women, feel the need to belong.

To feel loved. To be affirmed. To know we are worthy.

Our enemy is the prince of this world. This world that screams at us from every direction. The noise is deafening at times. But, not tonight. Tonight, my friend, the noise of this world was silenced by the prayers of the faithful. Amen! Tonight, I did belong. Because, tonight, my heart, my soul, and my spirit were affirmed by the only One who can truly give me value.

This evening, I spent the better part of a solid hour in prayer for a dear friend.

A wife. A mom. A teacher. And now, a cancer patient.

In only a moment, a glimpse of the doctor’s mouth moving, words coming out, but no sound. No. Not cancer. Everything changed. Nothing will ever be as it was.

From my couch, all those years I remember desperately wanting to feel like I belonged to the outside world. The world I only saw from my window, or from the waiting room of a doctor’s office. The world that seemed to be spinning around just. fine. without. me.

But, tonight, not from my couch, but from my friend’s couch, she was reassured. She was affirmed. She knew her value. She belonged.

Because, on this night, His family of believers surrounded her. More than twenty ladies gathered at her house (and many others from their own homes around the country) to pray over her. I was one of the blessed ones who knocked down the doors of heaven tonight in her name.

We were strangers to each other, so many of these women. At once, united by our friend, we were now united by the presence of His Holy Spirit. We were one in our prayers. We were one in our cries to our Father. We were one in our tears. We were one in our desperate pleas for healing and peace. We were one is our desire for His will above our own. We were one in our demolition of the enemy and his plans – in Jesus’ Name.

We were one.

United.

Alltogether different, but each so wonderfully made. Each of us, a part of His family. Sisters in Christ. United in prayer.

Because of His blood, His sacrifice, His love – we do belong.

And, precious friend, if you have given your life to Jesus – then never doubt this – so do you

Whether you feel it in your emotions. Whether you understand it in your brain. Or whether you don’t know the difference between the two – you are His.

He made you.

He knows you.

He loves you.

He died for you.

You. Do. Belong.

Five Minute Friday – Present

(Disclaimer to my readers – Today I link up with fellow writers. This is a challenge. A group to join. A prompting by another woman I like to just.sit.down. every Friday and write for only five minutes. That’s it. Which is roughly how long it takes for me to write my normal first sentence. Ahem. So, lest some of you start dancing joyfully with glee that my post is shorter – it is advised that thy shouldn’t get thyself used to it. In Jesus’ Name.) READ MORE HERE.

This week’s word – Present

GO.

Dear Present,

Where have you been, dear friend? You seem like the firefly during the heat of summer sunsets – always just.out.of.reach.

I dwell on your 2nd cousin, Past, and often fear your wicked Step-mother, Present.

My Past haunts me, guilts me, condemns me and brings me further from you, Beloved.

Your wicked Step-mother, my Future, sets my mind on controlling things, planning things, predicting things – always pushing you out of the way and making me a slave to Her demands.

I want to be here with You now, dear friend, oh my dear Present.

Here. Where her big girl winks aimed at me, cause my breath to catch in my throat.

Here. Where his innocent heart still brings me such joy, with questions like “Why do my socks have to match?” No, baby, they don’t. I love you so. and “Do I really have to wear underwear, Mama?”

Here. Where his dance between indepedence and still needing Mommy keeps my heart close, ever so close.

Here. Where you have me serving my man, or at least desperately trying serving me kids, and serving the least of these. Tired, am I? Yes. But, help me not be so busy, so consumed that I miss the gifts You give me here – every.single.day.

Oh, dear Present, stay with me a while.

Cling to me now. Do not leave.

Do not tease me with the flicker of your ever-fleeting light, only to fly away with another summer sunset.

Keep me here with you, dear flirefly.

I love you. I thank My Creator for you. For the blessings He has for me here with You.

For now, for our Present together, and for always,

Bless you, dear Present.

Love, Me (Your New BFF)

STOP.

Five Minute Friday – Beautiful

(Disclaimer to my readers – Today I link up with fellow writers. This is a challenge. A group to join. A prompting by another woman I like to just.sit.down. every Friday and write for only five minutes. That’s it. Which is roughly how long it takes for me to write my normal first sentence. Ahem. So, lest some of you start dancing joyfully with glee that my post is shorter – it is advised that thy shouldn’t get thyself used to it. In Jesus’ Name.) READ MORE HERE.

This week’s word – Beautiful

START:

Beautiful.

Such a foreign word. Not a word ever used to describe me, really.

I was, after all, the girl with the great personality. I was fun at parties. I was charming, funny, and athletic. I wasn’t pretty, per say, and certainly not beautiful.

But, on March 14, 2009, my entire world changed. The doctor who I may have just accidentally cursed out for three hours held up a tiny, perfect baby, I’d worked so hard to get out of my body…and said three little words that changed my everything – “It’s a girl.”

A girl child.

Whatintheworld would I do with a girl child? A tomboy since birth with two sons already, how does this fit with me?

I have so many friends, you know, girly friends, beautiful friends who desperately wanted a girl. But, Lord, you trust me with one? You trust me to raise a girl child?

Four years later, I joyfully embrace my role with this little darling one. My best girl. Our own little sister friend.

She adores sparkle and anything purple.

She is the best lizard catcher in the family.

She kicks and jumps like any good ninja would.

She rocks her babies with the gentle care of a seasoned mother of five.

She stains her clothes worse than both brothers combined.

She giggles and spins every time she wears a “twirly skirt”.

She loves baseball and can list most of the Rangers lineup.

She supports her team faithfully with a mouth full of Big League Chew and her purple sparkly hat.

She loves Legos.

She adores Hello Kitty.

She watches Sofia the First and Ninja Turtles, too.

She’s convinced she, too, will stand up to go pee-pee someday.

She loves that her bruddas have to hold the door open for her.

She is tough.

She is caring.

She is precocious.

She is fearless.

She is dirty.

She is girly.

She is defiant.

She is brilliant.

She is hilarious.

She is passionate.

She is not delicate, but she is darling.

She is not petite, but she is precious.

She is a girl child.

She is my girl child.

So, I will learn to french braid.

I will use glitter.

I will watch princess movies.

I will play with her doll house.

I will support dance, or cheerleading, or Godforbid drill team.

I will let her be whoever she wants to be.

Whoever God has made her to be.

Because she IS beautiful.

And I will tell her so.

Every. Single. Day.

(For-the-record – choosing pics took waaaay longer than five minutes. Sorry if this breaks the rules. But, I love this girl. I couldn’t stop myself. 🙂

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