caroline holzberger

Keepin' it real about motherhood, Jesus, life, and everything in between.

All You Who Are Weary

oh. em. gee.

Is it just me friend, or has the last two weeks run you over like a mack-truck on a mission?

Has it been fun? Yes.

Did you have tens of moments you enjoyed yourself? Sure.

Were you able to soak up every last drop of summer before that blessed school bell rang? You bet.

But, did it make you remember the days of feeding a newborn? Where you felt you were feeding that thing for all of the minutes of all of the hours for all of the nights you used to get to sleep through? Heck to the yes.

For some reason, after blissfully enjoying our summer together, filled with lazy afternoons at the pool, excited days at the baseball field, and sleepy mornings in our beds until the crazk of ten o’clock – summer bolted out the door on us. Like, he was here, chill in’ out with us by the pool, sippin’ some lemonade…and then summer went and just grabbed his towel and jumped over our fence, running for his hot little life. It hit me – Holy cow, we only have two weeks left. We haven’t gone to Hawaiaan Falls. We still want to go spent time with the grandparents. What about snow cones? And sleep overs? Summer!?! Come baaaaack.

So we did it. We shoved three months of summer excitement chaos into two weeks of time. All the while, trying to re-train the little bodies in our house to go to bed before 10pm.

Epic. Fail.

We had fun, though. And while today, Day Three of school, I feel like intravenous coffee wouldn’t even be enough, we will survive.

We made it through Day One with smiles and clean crisply clean soon to be stained new clothes.

(Bless the middle child and his freaking shoe laces. He be so blissfully unaware. Love him.)

IMG_8531

But, y’all. I am weary.

Not just I-ain’t-twenty-no-more physical body kind of weary. I’m weary in my heart too. For many of us, we had to say goodbye to our baby this year. Whether our baby went to kindergarten, like mine. Or our baby crept into the jungle of middle school or high school, or godforbid college – we had to say goodbye. And it. hurt. our. hearts.

Now, I am fully aware that someday I will be feeling much more like my friend, Jen Hatmaker on the first day of school. See pic below of her Facebook post with she and her friends. Then pee your pants.

photo

I am super excited for my little baby girl. She is gonna rock kindergarten. She isn’t intimidated or weepy or sad to leave me. One tear wouldn’t kill ya, kid. In fact…when getting ready for her kindergarten assessment last week, I asked “Sister friend, would you like to read your special books this morning to turn your brain on? Maybe it will help you have more confidence today?” Her reply. “Mom. (insert five-year-old-teenager face) It’s okay. It’s gonna be fine. I’m confidence…and I’m awesome.” She gets her humility from her mother.

As God would have it, I have been handed the best job ever this year. I get to nanny for the most perfect little baby. Not perfect like my kids. See…with the humility? But perfect in her behavior. This baby girl doesn’t cry hardly ever. She is filled with smiles and baby giggles. She loves diapers changes. Loves the car. Loves the swing. Loves bath. Loves life. She is so very mellow it ain’t even funny. Basically not preparing her folks for parenthood at all. Plus, she is barely four months old so I’m getting my crack cocaine fix in the form of baby snuggles. Life is good.

So, while I thank God daily for this role, I am weary for my own babies not being here in the day. I like my kids. I like to hang with them. Not enough to homeschool of course God, don’t you dare put that on my heart. Ps. I love you, thanks for Jesus. But, I really do enjoy having them around. And yes, I felt VERY MUCH like this blog describes many minutes of many of the hours of many of the days this summer – but still. I miss them. My heart is weary for this reason. And others…

It is weary for my friend who just suddenly and tragically lost her husband of four decades.

For another friend who lost her daughter this time last year and isn’t sending her off to school this week.

For another friend whose marriage is falling apart right in front of her.

For my friends downtown who live on the street, whom I haven’t gone to see regularly in months and months. Shame on me.

For the state of our world in so many areas with beheadings, murder, rape, trafficking, and so on.

For the state of my own city with so many complacent Christians who don’t care about the last two things I mentioned.

Sometimes, I am just weary.

Can you relate at all?

Thankfully Jesus has a little sumthin’ sumthin’ to say about that…

Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Jeremiah 31:25 “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”

Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Jesus cares about our weariness. And you know what’s awesome? He cares even when the weariness is caused by our own prideful striving and works. Even when we are weary in not doing good, He still cares. And He is still the One to go to. So, while I originally looked at the kids’ school calendar and saw that we started on a Monday, only to have the very next Monday off for Labor Day, and thought Hmm..that’s dumb. Let’s just start the next week. Now, I kinda want to find the person who came up with that calendar and kiss them square on the mouth. Beautiful. Glorious. Amazing blessed person may God’s riches flow all up on you. This Labor Day weekend, though, will be a busy one for Team Holzberger. We have a baseball tournament, and a kid turning ten years old. Don’t get me started, he is my oldest and he is turning double digits. Hold me. 

I figured, the only way to truly help this weariness of mine is to serve. I know it sounds counterproductive to ‘do’ something when I just wanna rest…but God’s math doesn’t always add up. When we labor IN HIM, He blesses it.

1 Corinthians 3:8 “The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.”

1 Corinthians 15:58 “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1 Timothy 4:10 “That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

So…join me!?!??

I posted about a new service group I am starting at my church called Off The Pew. (short description: the rounding up of fellow believers and encouraging them to get their honeys off the pew and out in the world to serve those who are hungry, needy, homeless, imprisoned, orphaned…and BE the hands of feet of Jesus. Let’s stop simply dropping off unwanted times and calling it good. Let’s…I don’t know…actually BE like Jesus. Yes, that was the short description. Read more here.) Well, we are having our first big corporate event THIS WEEKEND. That’s right, it’s Labor Day, we have an extra day off from work!! And there was much rejoicing. Yaaaaaaaaaa. Monty Python sends me to my happy place. But, ya know what, LOTS of people don’t have an extra day off. LOTS of people don’t have a day off ever, because they work two jobs, or three jobs. So…perhaps we shall go and bless them?? Yes ma’am, don’t mind if I do.

I live in Texas God’s country and so it is roughly 114 degrees in the shade here, y’all. Bless us. So…the Off The Pew folks and I are going to drive around town and deliver ice cold water and Gatorade to all of those many men, working hard, building houses and mowing lawns. This is one of my all-time favorite things to do with my kids!! My precious middle child, Benjamin, put it perfectly last year when we did this once –

Me: (to my three kiddos) “Hey guys…thank you for contributing money from your piggy banks for this Gatorade. I know these men will be go thankful for it. Anybody know why we are doing this!?”

General response: “‘Cause it’s HOT, Mama!”

Me: ” Yes it is! Our pool felt so good today in this hot, hot sun! Do you think these men get to swim during the day to cool off?”

General response: “Nope.”

Me: Well, why should we even care if these men are hot? We don’t even know them?!”

(crickets)

Benjamin: “Well, cause God knows them and He loves them. So, we should love them too.”

Bless you, middle child. Bless you.

So, friends, let’s do this thing. Let’s take our weariness and turn it into faithfulness, shall we? Grab some friends of yours and make an event of it. Heck, throw a party if you want to! Can I come? If you live near me, Tom Thumb has 32 oz. Gatorade for $0.69 (when you buy 5) and Kroger has 24 packs of water TWO for $5.00. So…realistically, you could spend about $15 and bless TWO DOZEN different men with a Gatorade and two waters EACH. Do you have $15? Do you have thirty minutes of extra time this weekend? Ps. If you are reading this in an air conditioned house, on a computer, or on a $100 iPhone, chances are you have both. Just sayin’. Love, love.

I hope you’ll join me this weekend, Labor Day, and bless those who do labor so much. So hard. With such dignity.

Let’s give Him our weary hearts. Hand it over. Lay it at His feet. And let’s watch Him turn into blessing after blessing after blessing…

In Jesus’ Name.

Amen and amen.

**If you join Off The Pew in this awesome thirst quenching event for Jesus, comment on this post and let me know how it went! I can’t wait to hear…

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