caroline holzberger

Prone To Wander

Who are you?

Not like, “Please state your full name for the record, ma’am.” I mean, what are you like?

Me?

I’m nuts.

Surely you know that by now.

Since yesterday was spent glory-ing just made that word up in my shortcomings, I’ve been thinking a lot about them. Might as well tell you.

I am surrounded by organized chaos. I like to say to my darling yet anal husband that he’s mistaken when he labels me as disorganized. Because, how can it be disorganized, if I know exactly where everything is? Medical bill? Yep. Third pile on the left, under the magazine and behind the Lego ninja. Boo-yah. In reality, I probably do operate in organized chaos. Ok, full disclosure, there’s probably a heavy emphasis on the chaos with a just a splash of the organized on the side.

Which leads me to another character trait of mine – I’m an eternal optimist. Sometimes, to a fault. I want so badly to believe the best will happen. Sometimes I need to believe it. The guy will get the girl. The bills will be miraculously paid. The house will be miraculously cleaned up. That one never happens. Everything will work out fine in the end. When movies don’t end this way, I pout. I’m taking my popcorn and goin’ home. Life should be this way – at least, if you ask me. Often, life don’t ask me, though.

I’m also the poster child for ‘that person’ on those personality profiles. I’m the uber-outgoing, “fun-at-parties” , never met a stranger, born leader who everyone loves. For the most part. I am fairly honest, sometimes to a fault. My filter is all but gone. I have a huge heart for people and truly want to be everyone’s friend. As in, everyone. The guy pumping gas next to me. My bank teller lady. The chick who wanted a peaceful morning, but had the misfortune of riding in the elevator with me for twelve floors. I mean it, everyone.

I’m that creative person you want on your team for a project because of my contagious spirit and spunky ideas. Plus, the planning meetings will be a blast and I’ll bring snacks. 🙂 But then you probably ok, desperately need someone like my husband on the team too, or the project won’t get done. Probably because I’ll lose interest or forget to send the deadline email out to the group. Details, schmetails. But, ooohh our display would totally be pretty!

In fact, on that note, a recent epiphany struck me quite hard. I guess that’s what epiphanies do best, huh? None, and I mean, not-a-stinkin-one of those people closest to me are like me. No, really. Zilch. Zero.

My man, couldn’t be more opposite. Our core values are similar. But, The Five Love Languages book revealed what we already knew. My top #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, were, no lie, his exact #5, #4, #3, #2, #1. Awesome.

My lifelong best friend yes, even through the awkward years, my sunshine, was a non-emotional, non-athletic, non-boycrazy, non-dramatic, non-starvingforattention chick. I was too, minus all the nons.

Super neighbor and I aren’t that much alike. She’s a planner and a cleaner. She loves order and lists. Schedules and deadlines. Ya, me…notsomuch.

Thing One likes to read. I could stop there. But she is also the poster child of an introvert. I think she is lovely and hil-ar-i-ous but when we meaning I grab twenty more people into the room, they don’t see what she lets me see. In fact, a few months ago when I began posting about our super cool Book Club  I was fairly certain I would lose all my friends. I panicked and texted her my greatest fear –

Me: I am pretty sure I am going to lose all my friends over this thing.

Her: I know. But, it’s ok (me, ready for some inspiring and encouraging advice)… I’m an introvert, I only need one friend. I’ve got you. I’m good.

Me: Gee, thanks. Go read a book.

Most of my friends who I love so dear are truly not like me at all. Why is that? Is there some sort of law of nature that only allows one of ‘that kind’ of person in a group so they don’t eat each other? Do I dislike myself so much, I don’t like to be around other ‘me’ people? Or do I like myself so much, I want to be the only ‘me’ around? Hmmm, tough one. I’ll let you ponder that one for a bit.

Sometimes my entire life I have been labeled a flirt. I would like to believe I treat guys as openly and filter-less-ly add that one to my dictionary as I do girls. But, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to a smidge ok, a heap of insecurity that needs to feel like guys think I’m worth liking. Not that I want them to actually like me…just acknowledge I’m worth liking. Now would be a good time to bring in the psychologist.

I’m funny. In fact, I think I’m one of the funniest people I know. I crack me up all the time. And clearly, humility is high on my list as well, eh?

I can be an mile wide and an inch thick. Although, I will admit, God camped me out on my couch for a few years, causing that mile wide to get about six feet wide. The only direction I could dig was deep. I praise Him for that!

I am a recovering worrier. Like, a bad one. God sure can use medical roller coasters to help cure that. Either that, or send your butt to the looney bin. I had a 50/50 chance on that one. Jury ain’t back yet, either.

I forget things that are important.

I don’t notice details.

I’m not a super listener. But oh how I’m a great talker. Doesn’t that make up for it?

I’m an emotional wreck at times daily and yet I’m a pro at masking it so that you feel ‘everyting’s ok.’ God forbid I be sad, depressed, or downtrodden. That freaks people out.

But, all this out in the open, God can still use me, right?

(crickets)

I mean, I know He has called me to ministry. I feel He is leading me to write, to speak, to make my loud mouth used not for my good, but for His glory. He can take this whacked out lump o’ clay and turn it into something good, right?

Often I doubt, but deep down I know, I’m no accident. God made me this way for a reason. God can (as my Mom always told me to) use my powers for good and not for evil. Right?

If I know no stragner, then I have no problem giving the homeless guy a hug and making him smile. If I’m fun at parties, then I can turn something like scrubbing toilets at church into a fun shin-dig, right? If I pretty much lack a filter, then I can look my fellow pew resident in the face and lovingly suggest they leave the pew and hit the poor area of town for a change. In Jesus Name, of course.

I used to believe somewhere deep down in my soul that I was broken. I wasn’t made right.

I annoy some people. Only those breathing. I don’t blend in. I never fit in. I’m not modest and demure, contemplative or soft-spoken. Those are traits of a true woman of God in ministry, I assumed. How do I become those things? The answer is – I don’t.

I don’t believe that junk anymore. Thank God, I had a while say four years or so, to really analyze who I am. Maybe that’s why I trashed pretense. No time. No point. Also no one to have a pretense with when it’s just you and God on the couch. Again.

I was cleaning my house yesterday once a year whether it needs it or not and a song came on that struck me to my core. Being that I had me and my wrecked self on the brain, this one particular line hit be like a 2×4 to the head. Dang, God is good at that.

Would you listen to it with me? You will know when you reach the part that got me. Trust me, my picture would be in the margin of the hymnal if that was allowed, and not outright sacrilege. So, I found a blog where someone had multiple versions of this song to choose from. FYI, my favorite choice for which version is the best is the 7th one down, by Jadon Lavik. Love.

Please, take a moment and praise with me.

Jesus sought me, when a stranger, wandering from the fold of God. He, to rescue me from danger, interposed His precious blood.

Wow. Interposed His precious blood. Amazing.

Oh, to grace how great debtor, daily I’m constrained to be.

Not doubt.

But, here’s the kicker –

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.

Ugh.

Maybe that’s not you. Maybe we are built differently. You could obedient. Faithful. Reliable. Organized, for goodness sakes.

But, those three little words could be used as my profile description.

Prone. To. Wander.

Ugh, Lord I feel it. I hate it. I deny it. You redeem it.

So, my prayer today is simple. And, if you like, it can be sung – Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for thine courts above.

So, dear friend…leave a comment and tell me who you are. Don’t be shy. Lord knows I sure wasn’t.

Sola Deo Gloria.

Impromptu Campout

I’ve never done this before. I am writing to you right now, on my site. Un-edited. Un-researched. Un-planned out. Today, you’ve got me fresh from the oven.

Normally, my routine is to wait until I have about an hour or two to sit down Gee, I wonder if that has anything to do with why I’ve blogged once a month lately and write. I open a Word document and begin. I generally type from my stream of consciousness of what God told me yesterday or a week ago, or whenever it was, and then go back over it and edit, re-edit…sleep on it, and edit again. I often wait to post until I think it is a good day of the week to be seen, and then I go on my facebook and post it for all to see. Goodness gracious, that sounds awful.

Not today. Today I just finished my quiet time for the first time in daaaays and God said something to me. Poor God hasn’t had listening ears to speak to in a few days, I hate it when I do that to Him. Not poor God, though. Obviously. Poor me.

So, today, one of the devotionals I read was titled “It’s OK To Be Human”. But I often don’t think it is. Like my oldest child, I am my own worst critic. I expect so much of myself, especially after all I’ve been through. Have the last five years meant nothing to you? I often ask myself, chastising me for my complacency and laziness in The Word. So, what, now you’re well, and so you get to just go back and live your everyday Mommy world without diving deep into my Word? Nice.

Today, I wanted to go back to bed. Like, really, reeeaaally wanted to go back to bed. In all honesty, I still wish to be snuggled up under my covers. Sister friend is still aslep, the big boys are already off to school, so I wanted to do like I do so many days, and curl up back under my layers of covers and snooze again for as long as humanly possible. But, I didn’t. Instead, I came over to my desk with the sole purpose of working on an online photo book. Not Bible study. Not biblical research for my book. Photos. I chose photo book time over sleep time. But, as I approached this work area, that voice in my head appeared… Oh sure, you’ll lose sleep for photo arranging, but not for quiet time. Wow, girl, you should really go into ministry.

Ugh. That voice annoys me sometimes. It’s not the Holy Spirit. I know this because the Holy Spirit isn’t nearly that tacky. It’s the chastising me-voice that guilts me into things sometimes.

Haven’t been to the homeless church in weeks, have you? Sell-out.

Or if I do go volunteer, then it’s Oh ya sure, you go feed the homeless, but you can’t even honor your husband by keeping a clean, organized home? Way to go!

Ugh. Ever feel like you can’t win for losing? Like you really aren’t doing anything well?

But, then I did hear the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Lord!!

Just come. Even if your motives aren’t pure. Even if you are just doing it to check it off your list for the morning so you can feel better about doing what you really want to do. Just come. I want to be with you. I can speak to you if you will just come.

Sure enough, He can.

The verse that jumped out at me today as the Amplified version of a verse I’ve had memorized since my old flannelgraphs days.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest over me.” (I think that’s right?)

Um, ok. Boast about weaknesses. His grace is all I need. Got it. Sort of.

Honestly, I’ve always been better at boasting in my strengths. It’s remarkable how quickly and easily I can work in “Ya I had a full scholarship to play sports in college…” into a conversation at my kid’s sports practices. Two seconds flat. Sheesh.

But don’t worry, I have, over the last few years, become accutely reminded of my loooong list of weaknesses, and have thankfully learned how to boast in them instead. Sometimes.

But, today, the AMP version of this verse sang a new song over me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (AMP) But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!

Do like I did, sweet friend, and read it over and over to yourself. Maybe even out loud. His Word truly does sound pretty when read out loud. See which part speaks to your heart. To me, it was my keen desire to go camping. Not literally, although I do ache for Team Holzberger campout season soon, if our weather could just mellow out. I love Texas.

But, I mean camping in a figurative sense. Oh how I long for the strength and power of Christ my personal Savior, My Messiah, to just flat out pitch a tent smack-dab over my heart and just dwell on me. Quick, how do I make that happen? How do I make that happen? 

Ummm…(looking back in the verse to see the “how to” part)…Dangit. I must gladly GLORY in my weaknesses and infirmities. Gladly glory in them.

Ok, if that’s what it takes. I’ll do it.

I actually did. For a few minutes, I cast off my ghetto glasses held together by paper clips and put my head in my hands and gloried. I confessed some sin. Ok, a lot of sin. I listed off my least favorite things about myself. I acknowledged all Satan has piled up against me. Then I just waited.

waited…

waited…

waited…

Then I heard it.

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

The sound of four tent stakes being pounded into the ground. Right. over. me.

My heart was renewed. My mood lightened. My outlook invigorated. My ho-hum-ness about certain things uplifted.

Just like that.

I gloried in my weaknesses. I really did. I named them and claimed them that He could use them for good and not evil. And here I am admitting all this lame-ness to you.

Thank you Jesus. For your Word that is alive and active. (Hebrews 4:12) For your promises I get to cling to. For your character – you can’t be anything but faithful. You just can’t. And for this day. What will you do with it now???

Tear It Down

Did you know, my friend, that I didn’t take a shower for over six months? Gross, Caroline!

No, I mean, because of all my medical drama, I wasn’t physically able to stand up long enough to take a shower. So…I became a bath-girl. Not by choice. But for the love of those around me who solidified to me that not-bathing was not an option.

Now, before you get any lofty visions of me bathing which is a bit weird anyway in a beautiful, antique cast-iron, claw-foot tub, with lavender bubble bath and Enya playing softly in the background…please see the below picture.

My bath is funky.

It’s thirty years old, swirled with flecks of gold (I told myself it was 24 carat) and stained with some sort of gross-ness. I’d bleached and scrubbed time and time again, but it just wouldn’t go away. I told myself it was clean, but my eyes told a different story. Before the medical roller coaster I never used the thing, ever. It creeped me out. But, then when I had to go F.O.B. (Flat.On.Back) I didn’t have a choice. Our other bathtub didn’t hold water and had duct tape repair. This was the only option. For months.

But, now, years later, I am an upright girl. And when Ryan fi-na-lly said we had saved enough money to re-do some of the bathroom, you dang skippy better believe what ‘thing’ I wanted to demolish first. That’s right, friend – this bad boy –

Can you even believe I bathed in that thing for so long? It gives me the willies. Blech!

But, as you could imagine, when given a sledge hammer and free reign over the destruction of said bath-tub-o-gross-ness I went. to. town.

 

The protective eye goggles were for the sanity of Thing One’s husband to not have to come to the rescue of my eyeballs. But, despite the goggles, can you see the pure and everlasting joy on my face?

 

Never has a sledge hammer been slung with such pure joy and utter determination.

I wanted to tear. that. thing. down.

And, friend, that’s how I feel now, as well.

Not with any more of my bathroom fixtures, but with all this other junk.

I mean it, I am so done.

I’m done with the busyness of stuff that don’t matter none.

I’m done with the enemy trying to attack my severe lack of discipline.

I’m done with fellow Christians (as in, including me) living life complacent and half-asleep.

Soccer practice. Birthday parties. Science fair. Ha! Clearly not our house! Deadlines. House payments. Political differences. Religious apparel. Luxury SUV’s.

Is this really what it’s all about?

I apologize sort of for my boldness. But, I truly am ready for a revolution. An awakening. A revival, if you will.

I’m ready to tear this Halfway For Jesus idol down for good.

I cannot tell you how many nights I spent in that dirty old bath tub, crying out Our God. Literally crying out His Great Name for healing. Both of those songs brought me to tears, and still do. Along with a few more. Like, this one. And this one. (LINK Blessings) And this one. (Sweet friend, bookmark this blog for the times you need to just cry out to God.)

Oh how I just wanted to be well. Words cannot express how badly I wanted God to take this trial from me.

But, friend, this is my bathroom currently –

The bath tub is gone… but I’m still crying out. I’m crying out from amidst my dirty sin I’ve been soaking in for way too long.  My sin of laziness. My sin of pride. My sin of selfishness. My sin of worldliness.

My skin is pruned up I’ve been in this icky water too long. Again.

So, let me be clear. My goal here is not to make friends, really. That hurts me to say, because I looooove having friends. I looooove people. But, my love for people has kept me from being 100% totally bold with the words of Truth He gives me.

So…if you want to go along with your life doing what you want, when you want, and how you want – all the while with your Jesus fish on your car, then fine. Please feel free. I will absolutely still be your friend.

But, now, it is time for me to do something different.

NOW it’s time for this song – Please listen. 

“There’s a wave that’s crashing over me…and all I can do is surrender”

“Whatever You’re doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, but now I can see…You’re up to something bigger than me…larger than life…something Heavenly.”

“It’s time to face up, clean this old house, time to breathe in and let everything out.”

“It’s time for something heavenly.”

First order of business is something I talked about last blog – The 7 Experiment. (“Time for a milestone. Time to begin again. Re-evaluate who I really am. Am I doing everything to follow Your will? Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?”)

My denial runs too deep to be nervous about it. My partner in crime is too. You can BE SURE the enemy has been attacking the two of us BIG TIME about this thing. He can go to hell, though. Literally. Like, for eternity.

So… do you wanna jump in with us?

Have you prayed about it?

If not, please do.

Then, LET ME KNOW via comment on my blog (not my facebook) that you will join us. And don’t forget – Jennifer and I are giving away FIVE workbooks for The 7 Experiment.

Would you like to be a lucky winner?

All you have to do is comment on this blog post about why you want to join us, and we will pick the winners before we begin on March 1^st. So…I can’t wait to hear from you, dear friends.

God is up to something BIG…I’m just along for the ride. I hope you will ride along.

Let’s let Him tear down every single thing He needs to, in order to bring Him more glory. Shall we?

If you don’t know what I’m talking about then please read my last blog (LINK Splash Water Falls) and catch up. I’d love, love, love for you to join us.

“Encore! Encore!”

As I close my eyes, I can almost see

The closing of a symphony

Divinely written, for all to hear

As Jesus made His love so clear

One humble child cried out for more

And heaven heard echoes – “Encore! Encore!”

So, in case you have lived in a hole for the last few months, a life of your own and somehow missed this blog I re-posted…please oh please take a moment and read it. “An Eternal Symphony – One God, Two prayers, Three beds” is a story of His divine symphony; and it is crucial to understanding the “Encore, Encore!” of today.

My partner-in-crime (aka. Thing One) wrote that beautiful blog about one of the coolest things God has done in my life lately. What a blessing it was to even be used. No, really. The fact that He knows my every thought, intent, motive, desire, and not only loves me still, but also uses me on the occasion to bless others – it is darn near unbelievable!

So, Thing One is basically the yin to my yang. Or maybe she’s the yang to my yin? We aren’t sure who is who. She helps keep me grounded when I want to give away all her our money. She helps my emotional roller coaster level out when I get into a tizzy – generally about how crazy-blessed everyone is around me, yet they care not for the poor, the homeless, the widowed, the orphaned. Anyway, God has made it very clear He desired to mess me up in a major way, as He grows in me a heart to pour love, mercy, grace, and joy to the least of these. Those who society has forgotten, ignored, judged, and abandoned. These are my new homeys. I am blessed by them.

Anyway, so when God introduced me to my friend Tony, who by the way, is a hard-working, employed, tax-paying, insurance-carrying, (not-that-it-should-matter) single-Dad on that divinely appointed fall day I had no idea how He would continue to show off. What Jennifer didn’t mention in her blog was the next conversation Tony and I had after God gave his precious kiddos each a bed to sleep on. Our phone call went a little something like this –

Me: Ok friend, I respect that your first instinct was to attain the things you needed for your kids. I love that about you. But, could you please tell me something you want, just for you? Not a need, a want?

Tony: No. Absolutely not. You and your friends have done so much for me. Thank you, though.

Me: C’mon, Tony…please?

Tony: No. The beds are more than enough.

Me: Seriosuly, dude, just tell me something. Just for you. Not a need, a want. I can’t buy you a car or anything, although God could, but what would you want if you could get it?

Tony: Caroline, I am fine. I don’t need a thing.

Me: Hence the word “want” not “need”. Tony, quit arguing, you know I can take you, right? (This would be a good time to mention that my new friend Tony is an almost six foot tall, 230 lb. large black man with arm muscles larger than my neck. But, still, he could tell I am fierce. He was scared!)

Tony: Ok, ok, Caroline…if I had to pick something that I really just want…I’d have to say…(insert sigh of hesitation)…a washer and dryer.

Sweet man. Still thinking of the best for his family.

Thankfully, before my loud mouth could say the words “That isn’t a want, Tony, that’s a need.”, God reminded me that to some people, owning your own washer and dryer is a luxury. It is a want, not a need.

Me: Ok, friend, let me see what God can do.

In true me fashion, I told a few people ok, everyone I know  and asked them to keep their ears peeled for a washer and dryer available to donate. I had friends hunting on Craig’s List for me. People prayed. It was awesome.

And, I kid you not…by that time next week, we had three different sets of washers and dryers fully donated by people who’d heard this story. Not one. Not two. But three different sets for Tony to choose from. Wow.

Tony needed beds. Within 24 hours, he had beds, mattresses, bedding, and much more.

Tony wanted a washer and dryer. Within a week, he had three different sets to choose from.

Man, God, you outdid yourself.

But, still, He wasn’t done.

The craziness of the winter months came, with holiday-madness taboot. Tony and I texted every once and a while, updating each other on how we were doing, how good God is and how great it is that He introduced us. With every conversation, Tony expressed his overflowing gratitude for all God had done.

Then, it happened.

I received a call from a number I didn’t recognize.

It was Tony.

“Hey Caroline, how are you? It’s Tony.”

We chatted ok, I talked and talked, shocker! a bit about my kids, our holiday break, and so on and so forth. Then it happened. I asked how he was doing? His voice broke.

“Caroline, I wish I had better news.”

My heart sank.

“But, man, I didn’t want to call you. I hate to even bother you again, after all you and your friends have done to help me and my kids. But, I don’t have a choice. Caroline, we’re in trouble. I need help. I’ve called on God, and so now I’m calling on you.”

He proceeded to tell me about the confusion with his new job he’d just accepted in November. This was a great opportunity for him and would be the highest paying job he’d ever had. But, he wasn’t aware about the time-period where the GM plant would be shut-down and he would receive no income. Ugh. Can you imagine? No income.

He had no time to prepare for this, and was now facing eviction from his apartment. He didn’t have enough money to pay his rent or his bills. He’s been turned down for unemployment and food stamps (since he technically was still employed) and was facing a tough reality. “I just can’t let me and my kids lose our apartment. I don’t know what to do.”

God did.

God knew Tony’s humble heart. He, once again heard the plea of a desperate Daddy, doing all he could for his kids, and He answered His prayer.

Tony’s facebook posts the morning before he called me –

“Lord I know some things in life happen unexpectedly and we have no answers, no resources, and basically no control of. But your grace, mercy and power along with our faith u can make the unthinkable and impossible work. This is my prayer today and now I can relax and be stress free because u have it already worked out in your name. Amen!”

“Even when I get discouraged I am still waiting on God. He taught me too many lessons when I get impatient with him.”

I prayed with Tony. I assured him I would do anything I could to help. I told him I’d call him back as soon as I knew something.

The conductor bows His head in gratitude as the cheers raise to the heavens. “Encore! Encore!”

When I received Tony’s phone call, I happen to be with Thing One one of our favorite new churches full of some of our favorite new people. Check it out, it’s amazing!

I immediately told her Tony’s story and we discussed what we should do.

Me: “Let’s just go on facebook and see who all can help out. Everyone will want to!”

Jen: “How ‘bout we contact a few people who know our story with Tony and see if they want to help, first, before we announce it to the world.”

Me: “Oh, ok, that’s probably smarter.”

Yin to my yang. Yang to my yin. Whatever.

Then the cheers began from the back of the auditorium, as the conductor received all the praise He deserved.

From my cousin stationed in Korea – “Encore!”

From another cousin and her Bible study group in Nebraska. – “Encore!”

From a single-mom friend of mine, from my writer’s group, who is struggling for her own fresh start from abuse and danger. She heard Tony’s story preached at her church, and when she heard the newest development, she immediately got out her checkbook to help. – “Encore!”

Super neighbor and Fav friend both helped (again!) even though Fav friend has since moved halfway across the country.  – “Encore, Encore!”

My accidental friend, who met me through a mis-sent email in the first part of this story, now a treasure to me, who already gave three mattresses to Tony’s precious children. – “Encore!”

The blessing of a friend who owns my kiddos’ preschool, and four of her teachers, as well. Oh how I love those ladies! One of them even gave up the cash she’d received for Christmas to get to spend just on herself. Instead, she gave it to Tony. – “Encore!” “Encore!” “Encore!” “Encore!” “Encore!”

Friend after friend. Servant after servant. Reached into their hearts with love, and even more importantly, into their wallets for real, tangible help.

The next morning, Thing One and I drove to Tony’s apartment complex office and wrote a check. In less than twenty-four hours, we had enough money to pay his rent for two months, and give him a check to pay his utilities and water bills as well.

Over two-thousand dollars in less than 24 hours.

The conductor stands back, pride gleaming, as His child after child anxiously cries out “Encore! Encore!” in hopes to hear His eternal symphony once more.

And we heard it.

Loud and Clear.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

Ps. These are the pictures of the three Thank You notes Tony’s kids wrote to all of us. Read and be blessed by Tavi (age 13), Dorian (age 12) and India (age 11).

   

“Mitt Womee” and “Bockabama”

First, a disclaimer.

This is not a political blog. I am not a political person. Like, at all. As in, understatement of the century.

In fact, it has been strongly suggested that I am a neglectful American, too selfish and/or lazy to care about important political issues. Ouch.

How can you not watch the news?

What do you mean you don’t know the name of the Vice President?

I know, it’s bad.

I guess.

Maybe it’s not. I’m unsure.

I mean, I’m not a Republican. Gasps heard round my Bible belt area.

Don’t worry, I’m not a Democrat either. Sighs of relief come over the crowd.

I don’t associate myself with a political party.

But, don’t unfriend me on facebook just yet. I think we can still be friends.

I support our troops. I thank God for them.

I am not in favor of abortion.

I am not in favor of same sex marriage.

I am in favor of the extremely wealthy giving money to help the extremely poor. But, I am also in favor of the not so wealthy giving money to help the extremely poor.

I am favor of public education.

I am in favor of freedom of speech and religion.

But, hear me, friend…I am also in favor of the people who don’t agree with me on any of those issues.

More importantly than any of that, I believe the Bible to be true. It is my authority on subjects political and not.

I believe God meant it when He said to care for the needy, neglected, and forgotten. The homeless, the widowed, the aliens, the orphaned…those precious people are dear to Jesus. Therefore, they matter to me.

I am in favor of different churches worshiping in different ways.

But, I am not in favor of churches spending millions of dollars on church building expansions and coffee bars, when there are people starving on the streets within ten miles of them.

I am favor of churches banding together for the greater good of others, despite what the ‘label’ on their church sign says.

I am not in favor of complacent Christianity, which so many of us suffer from severely.

Should I vote?

Yes.

Did I vote?

No.

Fairly certain I just lost a few friends.

I didn’t ‘not-vote’ because I’m selfish. Or lazy. Or complacent. Or ignorant. I may be some of those things, but that isn’t why I not-voted.

Honestly, I didn’t want either man to be president. I believe voting is important, and my vote, this time, was for neither one.

But, once again, this is not a political blog. I am not a political person.

In spite of my not-vote, I still feel pretty good about my last few days though.

My partner in crime and I went to an amazing church and fed some homeless people yesterday and provided blankets for ten of them to be warmer at night. I feel pretty good about that.

I just had two very deep conversations with my sons about their character and how their choices impact all people around them. That, I’m proud of.

I honored my husband with a party, thrown in his honor, with his personality in mind, not for me and my desires. That blessed him and me.

I supported a precious friend through a time of anxiety, using the many, many, many times I’d totally been there, and the Truth from God’s Word that got me through. Blessed by that, for sure.

I’m not saying you can’t do all that and also watch Fox News. But, I just don’t.

We don’t really watch much TV at all, actually. But, for sure not the news.

I don’t read the paper. I do clip the coupons.

Can I love Jesus, America, and Americans, but still not care much for politics? Is that possible?

Can I love our country, our freedom, and our Lord and still choose, this time, not to vote in November?

I think the answer is yes. But, I could be wrong.

Anyway, like I said, this is not a political blog. I am not a political person.

What I really want to do is to tell you about Mitt Womee and Bockabama.

Who are these people?

I have no idea.

But, neither did Matthew.

Let me explain.

You see, my kiddos were given the opportunity to vote at school last week.

I didn’t know they would be given this opportunity.

I also didn’t know how/when/why they were asked to do so.

And, I certainly didn’t know what they were told about each candidate.

I didn’t know anything.

I only knew that when I welcomed the four crazy, energetic boys jumping into the car at carpool, I noticed that one of those wild boys that I birthed, had a sticker on his shirt exclaiming in big, bold, patriotic colors, “I Voted!”

I asked Benjamin, “Son, where did you get that sticker?”

Throwing his backpack at me, he answered matter of factly, “At school.”

Gee, son, thanks.

“No, buddy, I guess what I meant was, why did you get that sticker?”

“Cause I got to vote for president today at school.”

I was intrigued.

Mainly because my precious six-year-old just recently discovered he had nipples (LINK), so I was dying to find out what his new found political position would be.

My first-born child, Mr. Accurate, interrupted, “We only got to pretend to vote, Mom. It wasn’t for real.”

Thank you sweet Jacob. For a minute, I thought they’d lowered the voting age to six.

(Love that boy. He and his need for accuracy remind me of his dear ol’ Dad, who I happen to love.)

“So, Benjamin, who did you vote for?”

This should be good.

“Mitt Romney, of course.” He replied, as if that was the most ridiculous question I could have ever asked him.

Of course?!? Ok, this is getting pretty interesting.

“Why did you vote for him, bud?”

“Mama, I looked at his picture, and he just looked like he was gonna win.”

(Obviously my kid isn’t a prophet.)

Then, the car full of kiddos began their own little political talk. It was pretty comical. Three kids were mine. The other three kids were not. One kid voted one way because the ‘other guy’ already got a turn at being president. Benjamin voted his way just because he liked the guy’s picture. I guess there is validity to keeping elementary students from voting for real.

Benjamin went around the car, asking each elementary student who they voted for.

Three for Romney, one for Obama.

Interesting.

I know the parents of these kiddos pretty well, and I feel certain that most of them do not have specific political debates at the dinner table. Not at this young of an age, at least.

The two preschoolers stared in awe, as if they were watching a big kid ride a bike with no training wheels for the very first time. Mouths open, they just took it all in.

Then, it happened.

After the big kids chimed in their cheers for their candidate of choice, Benjamin turned to Matthew, my darling neighbor and honorary nephew –

“So, Matthew, who would you have voted for?”

Mind you, Matthew is only four years old. He neither knows what voting means, nor what a president is. Unless you are voting for your favorite Rescue Hero. Then, it’s Billy Blazes, hands down.

Matthew had just witnessed his brother and two honorary cousins chime in gleefully, as if voting for their favorite flavor of snow cone, “Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney!”

So, he happily mimicked, “Mitt Womee”

Benjamin sighed with a great amount of relief and approval to the younger kid, “Oh, good!”

“What about you Abigail? (his three year old sister) If preschoolers were old enough to vote hilarious! Who would you have voted for?”

“Mitt Womee, like Maffew!”

“Good girl, Abigail!” Benjamin replied.

It was settled. As for Carpool #8 (is great), the votes were in.

Barak Obama – 1

Mitt Romney – 2

“Mitt Womee” – 2

(Can you tie with yourself? Not sure about the political logistics of that one.)

Matthew and Abigail still have no idea what a “Mitt Womee” is, but they cast their vote nonetheless.

This carpool situation really stuck with me for many reasons – none of which are political, but all of which are essential.

Reason #1 – Kids are always listening. Always. What you do, or do not, talk about at the dinner table matters. “We don’t like Bockabama.” comes out of their mouths quite easily, even though they may be certain that a Bockabama is a type of evil ninja game. They have no clue. But, they’re certain it ain’t good. They hear Mommy and Daddy say it, so they say it. Period.

My friend, this is good and bad. I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if, for at least the next three years and eleven months, we spent as much time and energy talking all about Jesus, and Peter, and Paul, and James at the table? Would they be able to go to school and say, “I want to be brave like Peter. He faced death because he loved Jesus. They even cut his head off. Whoooaaa.” Or, maybe they’d meet a new friend named James, and say “Oh, cool! That’s the same name as Jesus’ brother. Did you know, he didn’t believe Jesus was the Son of God until after Jesus died!? Isn’t that crazy!?” Kids listen to what we say, especially when we don’t know they are listening. That’s their favorite time to listen, in fact. What would happen if we now focused those debates on which king of the Bible was the noblest, or which disciple they are most like? I can only imagine the impact it could have on their sweet little minds.

Reason #2 – If you don’t address an issue with your kids, someone else will. I heard a sermon today by James Dobson on talk radio (see, I listen to talk radio…just not the political kind) say “You need to set the priorities for your family. If you don’t, someone else will.” Great point. My own children had never heard anything about this political debate from Ryan or I, until after they’d already cast their vote. Thankfully it was pretend. Thankfully it wasn’t a crucial issue in their current moral or spiritual lives. It wasn’t about them taking drugs, or getting into a car with a stranger, or showing someone their private parts. If we don’t address it, they may not be prepared for when it’s time for them to cast their vote about the subject. They may hear what the other kids are doing at school, and just go along with what they say, and with what they do. It doesn’t take much for our kiddos to get swayed one way or another.

Look at my sweet Benjamin. He went to kindergarten that day a normal six-year-old kid who still can’t tie his shoes and just lost his first tooth. He came home a Republican. Just like that. His decision had been made. His conviction was strong. And, I had nothing to do with it. I had no influence. I had given him no guidance. Scary, isn’t it?

Please hear me, friend – this is not a political blog. I am not a political person.

I am not shaming myself for not previously talking about the political election. Although, I am thankful for the many discussions we have gotten to have about it all since then. It did open my eyes to the impact politics can have (or not have) on a family.

I am sharing this because of the possible tragedy that could occur –

If we are more intentional about informing our kids how to vote for president, and not on how to live for Jesus.

If we focused more on their knowledge of party lines, that their desire to cross society’s lines to help those in need.

If we modeled our tendency to see everything through a political lens first and a spiritual lens second.

It could be bad, friend. Very, very bad.

Now, can you successfully do all of the above? Can you love Jesus and Fox News as well? YES! Of course. But, if we have to pick a side to emphasize, I wonder which one we’d choose.

They both matter. One, just matters for eternity.

But, please hear me, friend if we are still friends, I do love Jesus. I do love my kids. And I do plan on investing a ton of time, energy, effort, prayer and love in trying to make sure they know both of those facts. I want them to know where I stand on matters of the heart. I want them to know where I stand on divorce. On drugs. On pre-marital sex. On gossip. On fear. On giving.

I want them to know, not so I can force my beliefs on them. I want them to know because I want them to know the Truth of the Bible more than anything else in this life.

I don’t let myself get appalled at who won this election. At how the media skewed the coverage of certain issues. Or, at the backlash from all of the above.

I honestly don’t have time.

I’d rather get appalled that 25,000 people in this world will die today, yes TODAY alone, because they don’t have food and water that’s safe enough to eat and drink.

I’d rather get appalled that the church is dying, those who profess Jesus do it quietly, and more people are willing to put a Romney sticker on their SUV than their church’s sticker.

I’d rather get appalled that people will strongly support their candidate in public, but cower at the opportunity to stand up for Jesus in public. Fortunately, Jesus is God and doesn’t need us to stand up for Him. He sure does want us to, though, for the record.

It wouldn’t hurt to remind you, that this is not a political blog. I am not a political person.

The time, energy, and money you spend on issues like politics is between you and God. The amount of brain space you save for that stuff is your prerogative. But, here is the truth, my friend, your kids are getting older every day. Your moments of time with them are short. The words you get to say to them are few. They words they actually listen to are even fewer.

Make. Them. Count.

Not for election day. But, for eternity.

Because, one day, you will literally look our Savior in the face and answer for these things and more. Your vote for president, while important here, will be irrelevant there.

God is bigger than all of this stuff. He knows the electoral spread for every election for the next thousand years. He is in control.

And in case your heart needs one more encouragement…

Romans 13:1 “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.”

Does that mean God wants Obama to be president. No. Maybe yes. Who knows?

But, He most certainly allowed it.

He can be trusted. In all things – He is big enough.

Now, enough of this mess. Go play with your kids!

Amen.