caroline holzberger

Keepin' it real about motherhood, Jesus, life, and everything in between.

my joy boy

i am quite sure i will have multiple opportunities to write multiple posts about my adorable three kiddos. but, for this morning, i want to write this one about my sweet benjamin….. he is such a treat. God chose to sandwich him in the middle of our precious firstborn, jacob and our beautiful baby girl, abigail. and, oh is he truly our creme filling of team holzberger. what a joy. all of them are, really. but there is just something about benjamin that has always been such a joy. hence my little name for him, my joy boy. i used to love going to wake him up out of his crib as a baby because he literally had a smile on his face before his sweet baby blue eyes were even open. the kid can get so excited about just about anything. i believe i passed my ability to be very easily amused on to him. but i am convinced that he must have stood in line in heaven a few times for it, because he ended up with mega doses of it, and boy is it a joy to be around! often we will be sitting at a meal (like, last night at dinner, for instance) and out of nowhere and absollutely no “prompting” from a grown up, he will just burst out and say “oh daddy, thank you sooo much for fixing us this breakfast, it is so yummy, thanks daddy!” and the inflection in his voice is so darn cute and pure and filled with joy, it melts your heart. and yes, i think there is something so precious about the fact that he doesn’t even call the meal the correct name…doesn’t matter, he is still just happy to be fed. (yes, you see where i am going with this)
but recently, my sweet baby boy has truly had a tough couple weeks. now, before you read on, (and debate about calling cps) remember that bejamin is 3 1/2 and sits still about as long as a gnat. unlike my compliant and cautious firstborn jacob, who flat out spoiled us and would sit still and focused, looking at a book or building with blocks for an hour at the age of ONE…benjamin is much busier, MUCH less cautious, and much more likely to get into all this trouble. so, like i said…in just the past few weeks…benjamin has sliced his finger open (pretty badly, but thankfully no stitches) on an open tin can….been handed the wrong cup and taken a full swig of HOT coffee, thinking it was his orange juice…..been stung by a bee in our backyard…..gotten a hold of a peanut (which he is highly allergic to) and broken out into whelps and hives…..touched a hot grill and gotten 2nd degree burns on his palm and fingertips…..and had skin meet pavement more times than we can count. in anyone’s world, this would be a VERY tough couple weeks…but especially in the protected, supposed to be sheltered world of a 3 year old. you know that even a kid could start to think, “ok, seriously?” not benjamin. it really hit me the other day when (once again) i woke him up and one of the first comments that came out of his barely awake little mouth, was “oh mama….(such pure joy, excitement, and anticipation in his voice, like he just couldn’t wait to share his joy with me and see my reaction!) mama, mama…guess what, i think my owie is getting better!!!” now, he had said that before…but this time what hit me was his response to what i asked him next…..i said “oh buggy, i am so happy to hear that, which owie is feeling better?” and he looked confused as he looked from his arm, to his hand, back to his leg….hmmm…you could tell he was thinking….he wasn’t sure. so, after a few minutes of deciding… he picked his finger and held it up proudly and with a huge grin…”look mama, it looks better!” whoa. that really hit me. my joy boy was so sure something was getting better, but he didn’t even know what it was yet.
talk about expectant praise. talk about living out your faith. talk about expectant joy. oh, why can’t i be that way more often? especially through this medical drama i have going on….His Word tells us (doesn’t suggest, by the way) to “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess 5:18) it also says that the “joy of the Lord is our strength (Neh. 8:10) i could go on and on and on…..but i already know these things. i just love that God also shows us in real life ways how He wants us to react.
He would love if we smiled before our eyes were even open…”this is day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be GLAD in it!” (psalm 118:24)
thank you Jesus for this breakfast, i am so grateful!! sooo many people don’t know where their next meal will come from yet i seem to complain because we are out of fruit loops. ugh.
God, i think my owie is getting better! which one? who knows? (You do, Lord) how did it happen to me? who knows? (You do.)
thank you God for loving ME so much. for loving my benjamin and for trusting him to us. may we both shine YOUR joy for all to see. oh that you would call me your “joy girl” someday, Father. amen.

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