caroline holzberger

It’s Just Like Riding Another Bike

Would you like to know what I did today?

Taught a yoga class? No.

Squatted 570 lbs. at the gym? Ha! No. That would be preposterous. Duh! 🙂

Brace yourself…

I

DROVE

A

CAR!!!!

You read that right, friend! (insert Hallelujah chorus here!)

After three months of having no real freedom. No ability to pack up and head out the door on a whim. I packed up the car…and drove to preschool. Two miles down the road. 🙂

But, hey, I felt a freedom like none other. The radio didn’t blare No Doubt or Alanis Morissette like it did when I was 16, but the feeling was still the same. Instead, the CD player blared a Cars read along book, which was fine with me. It was too cold to let the wind blow my hair back, but that’s okay. I still rocked it.

This isn’t the first time I have celebrated this motor vehicle milestone. Although I must admit that I am surprised that it was so long ago that I celebrated it last time. A whole year, actually. Wow.

So, here I am, having to learn to ride another bike.

You know what they say about certain things, like driving – it’s just like riding a bike. You don’t forget.

Just like someone who has broken an ankle has to re-learn how to walk.

Just like someone who has been in a relationship for a long time has to re-learn how to be single.

I am having to re-learn how to be well.

For eleven if the last sixteen months, I have been flat on my couch all day, every day. Like, going to the little girl’s room three times was a big day for me.

So, now that I am sealed – PRAISE GOD! – I am having to re-learn how to just. be. well. I am having to take the itty bittiest baby steps you could possibly imagine to recondition my body. I am having to reprogram my thoughts, my reactions, my habits. It’s actually pretty weird.

For instance, I am so used to not being able to endure certain things, that when challenged to do them, I immediately think I can’t. I get anxious about maybe not being able to. I get fearful about the possibility of failing. I get concerned about “paying the price” for over-doing it. I clearly need therapy am kind of a big ol’ mess.

And while I have to respect the baby steps this process must entail. I really need to start living like a healed person.

Do you?

Are you holding on to your past?

Maybe sinful choices that you made, that you think made you. Or even worse, are still making you.

Maybe a joyful season that seems so far in your distant past that you wonder if you ever really experienced it, much less deserve to again.

Maybe a thinner you. Or a richer you. Or a happily married you. Maybe all of the above. Either way, you are holding on to that version of you, instead of embracing this version of you.

Maybe you are holding on to un-forgiveness. That ex-man deserves it. That church hurt you. That family member did the unthinkable. Friend, you know what they say about un-forgiveness — it is like swallowing poison and expecting someone else to die from it.

I am doing all I can with the strength God has given me to LET GO of the sick me. I am spending all my energy on allowing God to re-wire my thinking. I am repeatedly placing my confidence in the One who healed me and desires to see me live healed.

He desires for you to be healed too, sweet friend.

Whatever your drama is, and don’t act like you an’t got drama. If you do, then chances are, you have more drama than the rest of us! (except maybe me!)  If you are breathing in and out right now, you have drama. But, may I please remind you that you are a child of God.

That phrase is overused and under-embraced.

YOU are a child of God. YOU, right there, staring at this computer screen. Yes, YOU!

Don’t believe me?

1 John 5:19 “We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.”

Ephesians 1:4-6 “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will–to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”

Romans 8:15 “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

Galatians 4:6 “Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.”

That word “Abba” is like the affectionate term for a father. It is pictured as a little child crawling into their father’s lap and saying “Daddy!”

Have you ever had a moment like that with your own kids? I know I have. I am more blessed by those moments than they are. It warms my heart when they throw off all their cares, their pains, their kid-drama and just cry out to me and Ryan. “Mama!” “Daddy!”

And get this…

Matthew 7:11 “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

If you, a fouled up, finite human can desire blessing for your child, how much more could a perfect, infinite God desire for you!?

HEAR THIS –

John 8:34-36 “Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

I think sometimes it is simply hard to accept this freedom. We are so used to living one way that to picture life a better way is almost a cruel tease. I want so badly to be well. Wait…I am well. I want so badly to feel well. I want to think well. I want to live well. Don’t you??

Friend, we have an enemy of our souls that wants more than anything to keep us down. He will whisper thoughts like –

“You will never be the same.”

“Wait ‘til people find out about your past!”

“You don’t deserve to be __________” (healthy, happy, married, a parent, etc)

“You might as well give up now.”

Jesus assures us of the enemy’s purpose.

John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

ONLY to steal, kill, and destroy. ONLY.

What does he want to steal, kill, and destroy? The abundant life Jesus promises in the last half of that verse. Our Daddy came to earth as Jesus to give us hope and abundant life. Not a life of slavery.

Jesus assures us from His own mouth that this life will be tough.

John 16:33 ” “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Cling to that last part. Our God – Our father – Our Daddy has overcome the world. Like, it’s already been done. Period. So…the question is…how are you going to live?

1 Peter 1:14 “As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.”

Obey Him.

Do not fear.

Cast your cares on Him.

Let your past go.

Accept His grace.

Live abundantly.

Get. Back. On. That. Bike. Again.

Amen and amen!