caroline holzberger

Keepin' it real about motherhood, Jesus, life, and everything in between.

"But I The Only One"

School Holidays. Fun, aren’t they? For some, yes. For others, no. For me, it really just depends. You see, we are a house divided. No, I don’t mean that I cheer for the Longhorns and my man cheers for the Aggies. We are far cooler than that, Go Tech! What I mean is that my kiddos attend school in one school district and my husband works in a different one. So, if it happens to be that there is a random holiday approaching, like Flag Day or Columbus Day, I have to check the calendars to see if this will be a joyous holiday or not. 
This time, it is not. 
For some reason, the school district my husband works for has decided that the staff didn’t need any sort of break whatsoever, yet the students would receive both Friday and Monday off. Clearly I am not bitter. So, here we are, as a family, not being able to enjoy the only main perk of working in education – scheduled time off together. 
I, however was excited to get to have a day with just me and my kids. I was even more excited that I was feeling well enough to endure handle such a day. Granted, my kids are inching their way ever so slowly toward independence and so I can, for the most part, just sit back and watch them play for a little while. Key words, for a little while.
Today, we are recovering from the torrential downpour we received over the last few days. Thankful, for sure, but muddy all the same. I am in no way one of those moms who can’t handle my kids being dirty. I am all for it. We live on about an acre of land and are surrounded by trees everywhere, so I am all for my kiddos going out there and just having a ball with sticks and mud and bugs. Oh my!
They loved it. They had their “play clothes” on and just had a blast jumping on the wet trampoline, playing baseball, pretending to be spies, and digging in the dirt. Yes, this sounds like “boy stuff” to some, but I guarantee my little Ms. Darling was right there in the middle of it with her big “brudas”.
The morning was lovely. Cool breeze. Partly cloudy sky. Perfect. 
After resting and watching them play, I was able to make lunch and then hang out a bit more before naptime.  Now, I have heard fables of people whose children nap well past the age of three. I believe in that about as much as I believe in unicorns. It ain’t true.
My darling baby girl, who is two-and-a-half, going on sixteen and has been telling people that since before she turned two, was having the most fun of all. Whichever way her big “brudas” were going, you were bound to see her little pink self following just behind. She flipped with them on the trampoline. She chased the bad guys away as a secret spy. She even squished right between them to each her lunch. But, then it was naptime.
The time of day when, once again, we are a house divided. In our house, there are two groups of people. One, those who nap…and two, those who don’t nap. Ok, I’m adding a third group…three, those who wish they could nap, aka, ME! 

So, as the boys were asking if they could turn on the hose and turn this whole digging in the dirt thing into a mud-ball fight, I was announcing to sister-friend that is was “night-night” time. This went over like the plague. She. Wasn’t. Havin’. It.
Normally, it is tough enough to have to leave the crowd and go nap. But, today? Today, the day filled with outdoor fun and dirt and playing? No way. No how. 
She pitched a flat out royal fit. Like, a real one you see those “other” kids throw in the middle of Target when Mama walks right past the dollar bin without stopping. This was that type of fit. 
We have very little tolerance in the Holzberger household for fit-throwing. 
My kids know –
Me: “What is that fussing gonna get you?”
Them: “Nothin’”
Me: “That’s right, say it again.”
Them: “Fussin’ gets ya nothin’”
But, she wouldn’t hear of it. She didn’t care. I even had to bring up the dreaded “Sassy Spray” option. This is simply a spray bottle with vinegar diluted a bit with water and sprayed in the mouth when a bad word comes out or extreme fussing and yuckiness. Don’t judge, it works!
She finally calmed down a bit and said, through big crocodile tears, as I carried her upside down into the house, 
“But, I the only one!”
Bam! God’s loving 2×4 to my head. I realized friend, that I am waaay past due for some Sassy Spray. 
Can you relate? 
Do you have times where you feel like you are the only one dealing with a thing?
You’ve worked at the company for ten years and some other cuter, thinner chick comes in and her productivity numbers blow yours out of the water. She gets the bonus. You get the shaft. Again. You go back to your cubicle and realize you really are the only one. 
You’ve been single for about 34 years longer than you would have liked to be, and your fellow 25-year-old single friend met who the man of her dreams last month calls you up to tell you the good news, “I’m engaged!” You go buy a carton of Blue Bell ice cream and realize you really are the only one. 
Whether it be your waistline versus her size four pants. Or your scrimping budget vs. her newly remodeled home.
It doesn’t matter. You feel like you are the only one having to deal with this junk.
The enemy loves it when we think that way, friend. But, I’m here to tell you that it just ain’t true. Whenever you start drowning in the pool of selfish thinking, the enemy wins. 
Here is your life preserver friend – YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE! 
I’m not even talking about the huge scheme of things like world hunger and epidemic disease. I am talking about even just looking in your very own neighborhood. I can almost guarantee you that you are not the only one. Maybe none of you reading know what it’s like to be like me and have to lie down on your couch for week after week or month after month as the world spins around just fine without you I it. But, I bet you know pain. I bet you know loss. I bet you know more disappointment that you would care to admit. 
The Bible says that Satan, our enemy, comes ONLY to “steal, kill, and destroy”. (John 10:10) That is what he is here for. He will steal your trust by replacing it with fear. He will kill your dreams but convincing you they won’t happen. He will destroy your self-image with every magazine cover you walk by. It is what he does, people.
Let’s stop this, shall we? Let’s stick to the Truth that we know. God has a plan for us. (Jer. 29:11) He will never leave us. (Hebrews 13:5) No temptation we face is new. (1 Cor. 10:13) And He actually finds joy in you! (Zeph. 3:17) He loves us so much that He guarantees that nothing can separate us from his love. (Romans 8:35-39)
This is true. That other junk is nonsense.
Before we get too caught up in a grown up fit, let’s stop and choose to be thankful. Yes, be thankful in all circumstances (1 Thess. 5:8) and for all things. (Eph. 5:20) Trust me, it ain’t easy…but He never said it would be. (John 16:33)
Don’t lose hope. (1 Peter 1:13) We can do it with God’s help. (Phil. 4:13) And we can do it without earning us some Sassy Spray, too! 
Try not to get caught up in your own little world. Great song to enjoy by Matthew West – “My Own Little World”

My prayer for you today…

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

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One thought on “"But I The Only One"

  1. Saw your hubs at the conference he was stuck at Mon:) ha ha! Love and miss ya girl!

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