caroline holzberger

Keepin' it real about motherhood, Jesus, life, and everything in between.

top ten list

ok, here it is…i have decided to give you a full on disclosure of life in the hospital. it occurred to me that some of you may have never spent any length of time in the hospital, and so i want you to know what you are missing…and since ryan has left me for a while because he really does have to get some work done, especially if i am going to be here for a few more days..then, i am left here alone to rest, pray a lot, read some and of course, blog :)….all of these i can do lying down, where i feel the least amount of pain. so, without further adoo (how do you spell that word?) away we go….

and i’m thinking these are going to be in no particular order…i’m just givin’ it to you as it comes, let’s just go with the flow, people. 🙂

10. hours of uninterrupted tv time: now, this might not seem like a huge deal for some people…but in my world, this is pretty amazing. i have been here since thursday, and granted, i haven’t felt great a lot of the time…but thanks to the relief that comes with certain positions and rest and occasional drugs, i have been able to enjoy the tv in bed. ryan and i don’t have a tv in our bedroom. we made a conscious choice to only have a tv in our living room and leave the bedroom for bedroom activities. mainly because when we first got married, we would just go to bed and watch tv and never talk to each other or spend any time elsewhere in the apartment. (don’t let your imagination run too wild there) but once we had kids, we decided that one tv was enough, and so we do enjoy watching shows together in the living room, but then when tv time is over, it’s over. so…this has been a treat. and besides, do you know the last time i have watched dora, or olivia, or franklin or the backyardigans? ryan and i have been able to flip around to random tv shows and old movies at will. what a perk! what a luxury! but, man, oh man, we gotta talk to the doc about getting verizon fios up in here though…..

# 9 1/2. really, you know i couldn’t have just a normal type ten list…i actually went back after writing this whole thing and wanted to add this one….it isn’t just about the uninterrupted TV time, but just the uninterrupted TIME…ryan and i have talked a lot with each other, prayed together, i have read a lot, laid in this super cool toy/bed (you’ll get to that later) and just relaxed in His presence, and now, i have been alone in my room for a few hours….honestly can’t remember the last time i was alone. really. i mean, i obviously have a nurse or two come check on me periodically, but you know what i mean. i know this isn’t the ideal way to get some “me time” and i DO NOT recommend it for anyone, but i am choosing to thank God for this bit of quiet times. very thankful for it. but….ooooh do i miss my babies, so very much it hurts sometimes and i’m flooded with emotion…..ok, gotta keep going with the list, otherwise i’ll start missing them too bad!!!!!!!

9. super cool bed/toy: c’mon who isn’t impressed with a bed that has a remote control?? it goes up and down, reclines back and forth at the push of a button. in my past stays, the kids have come up and visited me and they have a blast taking turns “riding mommy’s special bed”. hilarious and so cute, those kids of ours. now..please note that comfort is not actually one of the qualities listed to describe this bed, but it is pretty cool and convenient when you don’t feel like you can get up on your own…or your sweet hubby who has stood by your side for soooo long now is quietly (sort of) snoring in the joke-of-a-fold out chair/bed next to you and you don’t want to bother him, so you can try to get up on your own. although, this bed isn’t known for quietness either, so that plan usually backfires….but it really is cool. plus….connected to it are all these cool buttons to control things around you. need a little light to read a book, no problem, just push a button. need your nurse, just push a button. wanna turn on your ever-present dora-free tv, just push a button, conveniently located on your bed. c’mon, that is just cool!! and when you get really bored, you can just ride it, just for fun. 🙂 all that button-pushing kinda leads me right into #8….

#8. having a “staff” wait on you hand and foot and the push of a button: now, once again…let us not forget that this is all accompanied by pain and stuff often, but right now we are focusing on the good 🙂 so c’mon, who wouldn’t like to push a button and have any number of people come and help you do anything you ask, take care of every need you have, clean up after you, change your sheets, whoosh in with your meals, refill your drinks, bring you drugs to help you feel good…. is this what the super rich people feel like??? obviously without the hospital gowns and numbness and headaches. well, i assume so, who knows, some of those dudes are a bit odd. 🙂 ok, moving on….

#7. no wardrobe drama: life here on the “inside” is soooo pressure free. i don’t lie here in my bed and worry about what the lady in room 351 is wearing, or if her gown fits her better than mine does. we are all created equal. her gown is the same lovely green pinstripe as mine is and has the same obscure navy symbols in alternating patterns as the guy next door, who happens to speak very loudly, by the way. 🙂 we all are in this together…we all coordinate, and we all feel the very same breath of fresh air that wafts in from the rear when we get up. refreshing and equal. it’s nice.

#6. it is crazy clean here, and I DIDN’T DO IT!!: that’s right…this place it wicked clean. no dust bunnies. in fact, no dust. no funky stains on the carpet. no mysterious odors coming from anywhere…it is super clean and i haven’t spent one moment doing it myself. music to my ears, for sure. and like magic, every day, it just keep getting cleaner. although it isn’t magic…it is this sweet hispanic lady who knocks so softly that i know it is her just from her knock now and she quietly comes in and asks me if it is ok to come clean. does anyone ever tell her no, really? she has the best smile. i don’t think she understands me really, but i talk a bit to her, thank her for her hard work and say “God bless you!’ and she smiles back and backs out of the room. i am thankful for her and for how clean my room is. seriously y’all. it is greatness. no cheerios on the floor. no dirty underwear anywhere. no rolly pollies that have met their fate in the corners. all clean all the time. nice.

#5. two words: apple juice. anybody with me on this one?? if you have ever stayed in the hospital for anything, you know that the apple juice they have here is like specially imported from some sort of secret apple grower somewhere. i mean it. the stuff of liquid gold. it is always half frozen so if you let it sit for the perfect amount of time, it is just past the point of slushiness…and then sometimes, if you are up for it, you can mix it with the cranberry juice and create a nice little refreshing pick-me-up. can’t describe it, but trust me, it is just that good. and…like everything else, it is readily available for you anytime. nice.

#4. you make new friends: for the born social, this is greatness, because you are always in contact with someone new. you get new nurses every shift, new people come get your blood often..lots of docs come in and out…the room service team switches out all the time to bring your food. and while, yes, these people are technically doing their jobs, i assume that there is a pretty good chance you wouldn’t have otherwise come into contact with them. but, now, in the past few days, i have met at least 20 new people, gotten to smile at them..and for the most part gotten to say “God bless you!’ when i could. i didn’t every time. but i do try. and i always know who to expect, at least for the most part. right now, it is dr. patel, for anything major. leni at 61034 if my iv beeps, i need any meds or anything else, and the very young but sweet nurse tech rose at 61205 who taped my arm all up for my shower earlier and changed my sheets for me, not to mention brought me an extra pillow. yup, i got the hook ups.

#3. free jug-o-water: you know the kind i’m talking about? the lid is like super air tight and the straws are the best. they bend perfectly and have that little removable lid thingy. they keep water cold for a while and they have a handle. they hold a ton of water too. my sweet grandpa has numerous of these from he and my nana’s hospitals stays over the years. he thinks they are the best. not sure you really need 15 in your house, but he likes them. go ahead and stop me if you come over and ever find that many at my house….seriously doubt that will happen though, i am married to ryan, after all…my little organizer. 🙂 and yes, i am well-aware that this mug isn’t actually free…it will probably wind up costing us thousands and thousands of dollars, but you get the idea. 🙂

#2. free meals, once again THAT I DIDN’T MAKE!!: and yes, once again, averaged out, i am betting each meal is costing us about $697 but again, you get my point. 🙂 and this hospital does things a bit differently and i think i like it. they have a set menu that you order on whenever you feel like it. so, you just call up and order anything you want from the entire menu and then you can expect it within about 45 minutes…it is really kinda like room service. cool, huh? now, i am bummed about my current wheat/gluten free stuff cause that reduces significantly what i would order, but hey, i’m still looking on the bright side. (in case you were wondering, i would have already chosen the alfredo and bowtie pasta, the pizza with my choice of toppings, a waffle for breakfast and i for sure would have had chicken quesadillas. sigh. but i ain’t complaining and so far, it has all been pretty darn good. but, it is kinda hard to mess up ham and turkey slices with no bread and grilled chicken breast with no seasonings, with broccoil, carots and a baked potato on the side…..but i am sure it could be done…it fact, it could be done, by me. i could totally mess that up! 🙂 but i’m not. and ya know what else, i’m not cleaning it up either. sweet smiling people come in and whisk it all away whenever i’m done. nice.

#1. healing: this one is pre-emptive. but i am believing. the number ONE thing about this hospital stay, my friend,is that i actually believe that this one is going to lead somewhere. whether it leads to me going somewhere else, like the mayo clinic. or whether it leads to further testing and actually getting some new results, i am not sure. but, i know God has me here for a reason and i am having to fully trust in that. so…it is a no-brainer that, at least for me, the number one coolest thing about being in the hospital this time, dear friends…is that maybe it will be the last time i will have to be. i guess i better enjoy the apple juice while i can. 🙂

john 15:11 “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

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2 thoughts on “top ten list

  1. I'm with you on the hospital stays! It is so nice to get waited on and not be expected or asked to do anything! Always got caught up on HGTV. Love the ice water and loved being able to call in the middle of the night for a club sandwich and a chocolate milk shake! Of course, the only reason I have ever been in the hospital is having babies, which is a #1 reason in itself.

  2. Anonymous on said:

    Ah my dear friend you have blogged my thoughts. When I had my second baby I wanted to stay as long as they would keep me. I am praying for your healing and maybe some day you will end up on mystery diagnosis!:) Amy “Lucky” Clydesdale

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