caroline holzberger

Keepin' it real about motherhood, Jesus, life, and everything in between.

Stuck

I was stuck on Ryan from the day we met. Poor guy, he didn’t stand a chance.

That was almost fifteen years ago.Sheesh, that man is getting old.

This past weekend we celebrated our eleventh wedding anniversary of being stuck for good. Like, legally, and before God and everything.

Eleven years ago Saturday, we joyfully said I do and whooshed away for the honeymoon aka. thenicestvacationwewilleverhaveinourlives.

Then, we came back home to do life together. Then, I blinked. And it’s been eleven years, three moves, seven hundred hospitalizations, and three kids later.

Thankfully (and by the grace of God and the wisdom of our marriage counselor!)

We are still stuck on each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, isn’t it miraculous awesome how he never, ever gets tired of doing ‘silly pictures’ with me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love that man.

And boy, are we stuck on our kids.

 

 

 

 

 

 

They are pretty stinkin’ amazing.

Some things we get stuck with are good. Others…notsomuch.

Bad: Ice cream at night before bad. It happens every 28 days or so when I simply must have it. Or someone will die.

Good: Seeing your kiddo get a super cool Christian song stuck in their head all day and getting to hear them in the other room singing “All I know is I’m not home yet, this is not where I beloooong…”

Sometimes you’re not sure if it’s good or bad: A friend you love comes over, but she brings her kids who always trash your house.

I’ve had a quote stuck in my head since the instant I read it. I literally lost sleep over this thing. And I love sleep. A lot.

This book I’m reading is life-changing. I’m not sure if I’ll have any friends left after I read it, which is like a death sentence for a true sanguine like me. But, really, it calls one to truly think about how they are living out this whole Christian life thing. Basically, what the heck are you doing that looks like Jesus? What am I doing? Not praying about. Not seeking wisdom for. Not convicted about. I’m talking about what is your hiney actually getting up and moving toward in an active way that looks like Jesus.

As you may or may not know, I haven’t been ‘doing’ a lot the last five years, as far as physical activity. Unless you count getting up off the couch to go pee. In that case, I’ve done a lot.

So, from someone who loves to do and didn’t get to do, now that I’m helthy, I’ve been doing a lot. But, how much of it has been for me and how much of it has been for Jesus?

In response to me being so busy this summer, or slacking on writing, or taking a break from the Blessing Bunch, people have kindly coddled me “Oh but you deserve it! You have been through so much. You deserve to be super busy enjoying your family.”

I appreciate their willingness to encourage me, but I am bummed that I agreed with them.

I don’t deserve much.

I didn’t go through that much, really. I mean, yes, it was very tough…but c’mon now, don’t give me too much credit.

I definitely don’t get a free pass from serving like Jesus just so I can catch up on field trips and movie dates with my family.

Balance.

My life has been so swung in one direction or the other, that now I am seeking discipline. I am seeking balance.

Then I read this quote and it ‘bout knocked me flat on my face. (Thanks, once again, Jen Hatmaker! You owe me an ice cream treat by now.) In talking about the role of the body of Christ in our world today, it seems most Christians have become glitzier and happier about their faith, but not any more humble or active or servant-like. So many of us get stuck in the Pharisee role and not in the Jesus-imitator role – it’s awful.

Jen said -

“We’ve made it acceptable for people to do nothing and still call themselves Christians.”

Stuck.on.these.words.

What am I doing? Like, really doing to better those around me less fortunate. I bless blessed people often. But, those hurting? Those lonely? Those homeless or abandoned or widowed? What am I physically doing for them? Easy –

Not a dang thing.

I donate clothes I don’t want or can’t re-sell. Whoopty-freakin-doo.

We live on a budget and tithe, but I am typing with freshly highlighted hair and about to let me kids watch a show on the DVR I recorded.

I volunteer in different ways each month (before summer hit) for a couple hours. So, that’s roughly 2 hours a month I serve others. Oh ya, and 718 hours I don’t.

Congratu-stinkin-lations.

Am I the only one who is appalled at the thought that the body of Christ may becoming more concerned about making those who are already saved happy than serving the least of these?

Do we care more about who we get to sit by at Bible study than we do about those many people who would love a Bible if only they could afford one?

The other day I had an old 90’s song stuck in my head. Today it is this quote –

“We’ve made it acceptable for people to do nothing and still call themselves Christians.”

I hope, for the sake of Jesus, that this stays stuck in my head longer than Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Lord, help me.

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